Why Do You Fly Upside Down?
If you have ever noticed, life changes constantly. I am a person that dreads change. Once the change arrives, I meet it head on and handle it. Before that I tend to worry myself into a real state resulting in either raging diarrhoea or a migraine headache. The most recent change in my life occurred just yesterday and I am still trying to find my way.
Eleven years ago I quit my job to become a full time stay at home mom. It was a horrible transition. Even though I loved my baby, I missed my job. I missed the identity that it gave me. I missed the daily grind and the daily stress. I must have been barking mad, right? How would they possibly survive without ME?? I learned a hard lesson there. Everyone is replaceable and life at my old job went on just fine without me. Before long I settled into simply being my daughter's mommy and enjoyed it. I finally forgot my need to be in charge of ordering at the local library and transitioned into focusing on wiping butts and noses and keeping my little one fed and happy. She kept me on my toes waking me up for feedings and as she grew I thrived on witnessing her accomplishments first hand. I actively played with my daughter, took her to the library for story time, made crafts, took her to the park, and was completely hands on in every way imaginable.
About a year before kindergarten beckoned, I became pregnant with my son. Surely I would continue on with him being a stay at home mommy and being there when he needed me as well. It was a foregone conclusion. I was good at it and I had experience now. No changes on the horizon for me!! I settled into the everyday task of taking care of my son. My daughter went off to school, and he and I remained. I found out quickly he was completely different than my daughter had been and I kept wishing constantly God had provided an owner’s manual for this cute baby who screamed bloody murder at me. It took me awhile, but eventually I figured out what made him tick and we finally got along splendidly.
This fall I am faced with another life change. My son has flown the coop to go to kindergarten. The change didn’t really sink in until he left my side and boarded the bus. Suddenly, I was left to return to my house alone. It wasn’t long before I noticed the silence that engulfed me after I walked through the door. Even the dogs quickly fell asleep leaving me utterly alone. I marvelled at the silence that was only broken by the buzz saw snores that echoed from my Boston terrier. It was almost a full hour before the realization hit me that I had no reason to be quiet. No one was here but me and if I wanted to play my tunes at full volume, there was NO ONE here to complain. What a sense of exhilarating freedom!! If I wanted to watch a movie, read a book, and play the Wii…I could!! I can write to my heart’s content with no one begging to play on the computer. No listening to the bickering about what the kids want to do or don‘t. It is all me!!
The kids leaving the nest to go to school isn’t quite as drastic as if they had moved out or someone near and dear has died, but still it is a change. Life is all about changes. Nothing stays the same. Even if life appears to stay constant, we are all still aging and time is still ticking by. As I watch my kids grow up before my eyes, I relate to Woodstock in the Peanuts cartoon the most…”Little birdie, why do you fly upside down???” I am the little birdie, and why?? Because I can!!!